Letting People Go with Humanity: 6 Essential Practices for Compassionate Separations

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Organizations often invest tremendous resources in creating exceptional hiring experiences — crafting compelling employer brands, designing thoughtful onboarding journeys, and celebrating new team members with welcome packages and introduction rituals. Yet ironically, the separation experience — the final chapter of the employee journey that leaves lasting impressions on both departing staff and those who remain — frequently receives minimal attention and strategic thought.

In today’s organizational landscape, from private companies to government agencies, workforce reductions are an unfortunate reality. However, the way organizations handle these difficult conversations can make a profound difference in how employees process the experience, how remaining team members perceive the company’s values, and how the organization’s reputation fares in the long run.

As a former HR professional who has guided companies through this process, I’ve witnessed firsthand how thoughtful, human-centered approaches to employee separations can transform a potentially traumatic experience into one that, while still difficult, preserves dignity and respect.

Below are six essential practices for maintaining humanity during employee separations:

1. Individualize Your Approach While Maintaining Equitable Policies

When planning separations, remember that you’re not just adjusting headcount — you’re impacting human lives. Each employee brings their unique personality, communication style, and circumstances to the table.

Some employees may prefer direct communication with minimal emotion, while others might need more time to process and ask questions. Some may require privacy, while others might appreciate having a trusted colleague present for support. Understanding these differences allows you to tailor your approach appropriately.

However, this individualization must exist within a framework of equitable policies. While the conversation itself may vary, the underlying benefits and support — such as severance packages, vacation payouts, continued health insurance coverage, and outplacement services — should be applied consistently according to established criteria like tenure or position level.

For example, “Sarah”, a remote worker with family responsibilities, might need her separation meeting scheduled at a time that won’t disrupt childcare arrangements, while “Tom”, an on-site employee, might prefer to meet before the workday begins to avoid facing colleagues afterward. Both deserve their preferred timing, but each should receive the same severance benefits if they hold similar positions with similar tenure.

This balance of personalization and equity demonstrates respect for individual dignity while avoiding perceptions of favoritism or discrimination that could damage trust and potentially create legal issues.

2. Deliver the News Face-to-Face — Never via Email or in Groups

There are few workplace messages more significant than a termination, and such news demands the respect of direct, personal delivery. Face-to-face conversations — whether in person or via video conferencing for remote employees — provide the human connection necessary during these difficult moments.

Group terminations or “cattle calls” are dehumanizing and signal that the organization views employees as interchangeable resources rather than valued contributors. Similarly, email notifications demonstrate a concerning lack of courage and respect that employees won’t soon forget.

When geographic distance makes in-person meetings impossible, video conferencing is the next best option. It allows for facial expressions and tone of voice to convey empathy that text-based communications simply cannot. This approach also provides the opportunity for real-time questions and ensures the employee has truly received and understood the message.

Remember — How you handle these moments will be remembered far longer than why the termination occurred. These conversations become defining moments in your company’s culture and reputation.

3. Ensure Manager Presence — Never Leave HR Alone

One of the most dehumanizing experiences for an employee is being terminated by someone they’ve never worked with directly. In my management experience, I’ve encountered organizational policies where senior leadership handled termination conversations with my direct reports without my involvement. This approach created an uncomfortable dynamic that felt like I was abdicating my leadership responsibilities. While senior leaders explained this as standard protocol, it generated ongoing uncertainty about appropriate post-separation engagement — should I initiate contact with former team members or maintain professional connections through platforms like LinkedIn? This disconnected approach ultimately undermines the authentic leadership relationships we work so hard to build.

To that end, the direct manager should always be present during separation conversations, ideally leading the discussion with HR support.

This arrangement accomplishes several important objectives:

• It demonstrates accountability from the leadership closest to the employee

• It provides an opportunity for meaningful closure to the working relationship

• It allows for specific questions about work transitions and projects to be addressed immediately

• It signals to the departing employee that they matter enough for their manager to participate in this difficult conversation

Managers who claim discomfort with conducting these meetings or facing emotional responses should receive coaching and support — not exemption from responsibility. The ability to have difficult conversations with empathy is a fundamental leadership skill. If a manager truly cannot handle this essential aspect of their role, this reveals a significant leadership development opportunity.

HR should be present to provide expertise on benefits, policies, and transition support, but should not bear the full weight of delivering the message or fielding the employee’s initial response. This partnership approach ensures both the human and procedural aspects of the separation are handled with care.

4. Provide Robust Transition Support

A compassionate separation includes providing meaningful support for the next chapter. Outplacement services, resume reviews, interview coaching, and networking assistance demonstrate that you genuinely care about the person’s future beyond your organization.

Many companies discover that former employees become valuable connections in new roles. They may become clients, vendors, or referral sources. Some may even return as “boomerang employees” with fresh perspectives and additional skills. Treating departing team members with genuine care creates ambassadors rather than detractors.

This support also sends a powerful message to remaining employees about how the organization values people. When team members see departing colleagues treated with respect and provided with resources for success, it significantly reduces anxiety and preserves trust during uncertain times.

Consider creating alumni networks or periodic check-ins with former employees to maintain positive relationships. These connections often yield unexpected opportunities for both parties and demonstrate a commitment to people that extends beyond formal employment.

5. Focus Completely on the Impacted Employee

While delivering termination news is undoubtedly difficult for managers and HR professionals, the conversation must center entirely on the impacted employee’s needs — not the discomfort of those delivering the message.

Phrases like “This is really hard for me” or “I hate having to do this” shift the focus inappropriately and can feel invalidating to someone whose livelihood is at stake. The person being terminated shouldn’t feel obligated to comfort those who still have jobs.

Instead, approach the conversation with genuine empathy focused outward. Acknowledge the significance of the change, provide clear information, and create space for the employee’s reaction — whether that’s questions, anger, sadness, or shock.

Remember that while this might be one of many such conversations in your career, for the employee, this is a singular moment with far-reaching implications for their financial security, professional identity, and family well-being. They now face telling partners and children, navigating unemployment systems, managing healthcare concerns, and launching a job search. Your momentary discomfort pales in comparison.

Leaders who consistently struggle to maintain appropriate focus during these conversations may need to examine whether their current role aligns with their capabilities and strengths.

6. Prepare for Information Retention Challenges

The moment you say, “We need to let you go,” most employees experience a neurological response similar to a mild shock. Stress hormones flood their system, and their ability to process and retain information drops dramatically. Research shows people recall very little of what’s discussed after receiving significant negative news.

To address this reality:

• Provide written materials covering all essential information

• Assign a specific contact person for follow-up questions

• Schedule a follow-up conversation 24–48 hours later when the initial shock has subsided

• Create clear, simple checklists for necessary actions regarding benefits, final pay, and company property

• Consider recording the meeting (with permission) so they can review details later

The most compassionate approach acknowledges this information retention challenge openly: “I know this is a lot to take in right now, and you probably won’t remember most of the details we’re covering. That’s completely normal. Here’s a packet with everything we’re discussing, and Jamie will be your point person for any questions that come up later.”

This preparation demonstrates both professionalism and genuine care for the employee’s well-being during a challenging transition.

In Summary

How organizations handle employee separations reveals their true character and values. By individualizing your approach within equitable policies, delivering news personally, ensuring manager presence, providing transition support, maintaining appropriate focus, and addressing information retention challenges, you transform a potentially devastating experience into one that preserves dignity and demonstrates genuine humanity.

The goal isn’t to make terminations pleasant — they never will be — but to handle them in ways that respect the whole person and recognize their contributions. When we approach these difficult moments with genuine compassion and thoughtful planning, we create space for more dignified transitions that benefit both departing employees and the organization’s future.

Remember that today’s separated employee may be tomorrow’s client, colleague, or community connection. How you handle this moment will be remembered long after the reasons for the separation have faded from memory.